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User blog:A84hg/The 50 Scariest UK PIF's
I know that this isn't the place for me to put all this info, but who cares? British PIF's in general are known to be fucking creepy. So let's take a look at these PIF's that'll make a little kid shit his pants. 50. ' ' Green Cross Code - Car - 1982 Scare Factor: Meh To start off our list, this is a 1982 PIF from the Green Cross Code. This PIF plays with your emotions. It starts like something out of Jaws, with the car being portrayed as some kind of vicious predator. You don't even see the driver. The villain is the car. (Speaking of which, did you ever see the movie Duel? Never mind.) Obviously, we're supposed to think that the kid in this is nothing more than fodder. The typical victim of a road safety PIF. Every child who saw this must have seen more than a few PIFs beforehand, so they were probably cowering behind the sofa, praying to God that the car wouldn't knock down the kid. And it doesn't. Yep. That's right. The kid turns out to be one smart cookie. He's learned his Green Cross Code, and as a result is given a ticket to a long life as a toilet cleaner. Well done, son. But that's not the end. The Psycho Car - yes, that's what I'm calling it - races past one final time: a warning to all those children who dare to defy the Green Cross Code. Jesus Christ - this PIF is awesome, isn't it? I love the idea of this murderous car zooming down the streets, ready to swallow up any unknowing children. You don't see that in every PIF. It makes you feel very tense. It's also nice to see a happy ending, too. Like I said, it plays around with your expectations. I thought this kid was going to be turned into a puddle of guts all over the pavement, but I was wrong. That just proves how good this PIF is. It keeps you guessing. 49. ' ' Fire Kills - Frances the Firefly (2000) Scare Factor: Meh This was a PIF made in the mid-late 90s (remade by Fire Kills in 2000) Of course you know who is to blame for the burning of the kingdom: Cocky Roach. That bastard. Stealing from his mummy's kitchen. Who even knew roaches kept matches in the kitchen? Aren't they, like, three times their size? Sounds a little farfetched. Still, this is one of those charming PIFs. It relies not on shock tactics, but a simple lesson which we can all learn from. Remember - never play with matches. 48. ' ' Charley Says - Strangers (1973) Scare Factor: Kinda creepy This PIF was an old one from the 1970s. The animation overall is really creepy. But what really gets it to me is the overall theme about strangers. The animation combined with the theme... just wow. 47. ' ' Tufty the Squirrel (1973) Scare Factor: Kinda creepy Here's a PIF from the '70s. The initiative seen here is known as Tufty - a sort of Green Cross Code campaign for younger children. I'm guessing it was for children up to the age of eight, or something along those lines. It features a squirrel called - you guessed it - Tufty, and his adventures in which he does the safe thing while Willy Weasel injures himself more times than the Jackass crew. Here, Willy gets mowed down by a car. Yeah. He's fine. Not injured at all. Even the fucking policeman moves him without a problem. Not very realistic, this PIF, or is it? 46. You Never Know - ThinkUknow (2002) Scare Factor: Wow. This is when things start to get creepy. It starts with the camera looking up at a ceiling, and a young boy's voice speaking. The camera slowly pans down to reveal a grown man speaking in a child's voice, looking right at you. The message is that people on the internet may not necessarily be who they say they are. 45. ' ' Vectorscope - DETR (1999) Scare Factor: Wow. This is a disturbing DETR PIF from 1999. Uses a vectorscope - I have no idea why - to tell us all about the various sounds that are heard in a car crash. Specifically, a car crash involving someone in the back who isn't wearing a seatbelt. I'm not exactly sure why they chose to make this PIF instead of just running "Julie" in cinemas, since it's pretty much making the same point. I suppose it's to create a vivid description - but you could always just SHOW an actual accident. It must have been successful, though, because it won an award at Cannes. Note the little icon in the top right corner. This is an award-winner, folks. Rated 15 by the BBFC. Obi-Wan Kenobi provides the narration. 44. ' ' Mount Staircase - One Small Step (1986) Scare Factor: Creepy Cinema PIF from the One Small Step charity, which proves my theory that cinema PIFs are the most scariest of them all. It's rather unsettling. It's just a child trying to climb up some stairs in the dark, but the camerawork makes it seem very uncomfortable and rather ominous. Like something in the darkness is going to grab that child by the ledge and drag her back down the stares, screaming and howling. 43. ' ' Trick of the Light - Crime: Together We'll Crack It (1991) Scare Factor: Creepy This is a crime prevention PIF from 1991. This is a very clever PIF, in the sense that it shows us how to confuse burglars to think that we're in, even though people were doing this for ages. The only problem is that if a burglar saw this, then he would be immune to the trick. He could just run up to the window, smash it and take that gold watch your wife had her eye on. It's as simple as that. Fuck you burglars. 42. Stone - BHF (1989) Scare Factor: Creepy BHF PIF circa 1989 asking us to donate blood. Stars Rowan Atkinson - I'm already pleased - trying to get blood out of a stone, with a shocking twist at the end. Plus one of the creepiest lines ever uttered at the end of a PIF. I'm going to have nightmares about Mr Bean tonight... "Oh, thank you..." 41. Joe and Petunia - Worn Tyres (1973) Scare Factor: Really creepy This is a disturbing PIF from 1973. Just look at this. The cheesy animation is there, and the ending kinda borders on what can be considered a Jump Scare. (SPOILER ALERT: They get killed by the car at the end.) How precious. 40. Drowning - Fire Kills (2009) Scare Factor: Really creepy This is a really creepy Fire Kills PIF, circa 2009. Drowning in a fire? What the fuck? How can you compare something like a fire to the complete opposite? Drowning has nothing to do with fire! Oh, but no - dying from smoke is like drowning, only there isn't any water involved. Wait - I thought water was supposed to be your friend in a fire? Maybe because the nice firemen will put the fire out with the water; not tie you down in a pool and laugh while you drown! This PIF is so stupid! I thought Fire Kills were supposed to be good at making PIFs with their scare tactics, but this isn't even scary or shocking. It just shows some girl dying. That's not scary - it's just stupid. Fire Kills, you sicken me. Go and stand in the corner. Part 2:User_blog:A84hg/The_50_Scariest_UK_PIF's/Part_2 Category:Blog posts